Letting Go Is So Hard

This past Saturday we decided we were going to head out to our favorite corn maze, Sweet Fields Farms.  The weather was beautiful, a welcome change from the life sucking heat and humidity we’re used to. We were getting ready to walk out the door when our friends called to let us know the wait to get in was two hours! I’m not gonna lie, I  was a little disappointed, but we were happy they were doing so well.

Not to be discouraged, we heard about another little farm not to far from Sweet fields and we decided to give it a try. When we arrived at the Farm there were quite a few cars, but it didn’t look to crowded.  The layout of the farm was really nice albeit a little smaller.  We found a spot at some picnic tables nestled beneath a few large oak trees and it wasn’t long before Meg asked if she could go into the corn maze with her friends.

  

My stomach dropped as I tried to come up with excuses as to why she should wait, but  I could see in her eyes she really wanted to go!  Her body language was screaming please let me be independent and after laying down a few rules and making sure she and her friends had their phones I agreed to let her go.  She squealed with excitement and disappeared into the maze leaving me to ponder my worst fears…

What if she has a seizure?  What if someone tries to take her?  Stop! She’ll be fine! You need to let her do this!  My hubby had gone to get food and was unaware of the huge step I’d just taken. So I sent him a quick text message to let him know I’d given our daughter a taste of freedom. To which he replied “Okay!”

I’m sure our friends were talking to me at this point, but I couldn’t tell you a word they said. I could feel my anxiety starting to kick in and the helicopter mom in me wanted to jump up and run into the maze after her.  All the what ifs had kidnapped my concentration and were attacking my rational thought process.

About this time my hubby arrived with the food and I nervously devoured a really good fish taco.  It’s funny how time works in situations like this, the minutes seem to drag on for hours.  I looked at Erich and he knew my mind was ready to explode.

Then it happened… I saw her! I saw this big, radiantly independent smile on her face and all my crazy thoughts and fears were replaced with a sweet, warm and fuzzy feeling. It was validation! I’d made the right choice! She was walking in my direction, full of joy, scanning the area trying to remember what table we were sitting at.  I jumped up, smiled and waved like a lunatic. She saw me and ran over, all excited, to tell me all about her corn maze adventure and I absorbed every word.

After that I relaxed a little and asked Meg if she wanted to take a few pictures with me and head over to the petting zoo.  It made me happy when she belted out her usual “Sure!”

The petting zoo was small and the animals were charming.  We were able to pet goats, pot bellied pigs, rabbits, fluffy looking chickens and a super friendly llama.  I basked in her delight and we wandered out to some of the other photo op and game areas the farm had set up.  Meg held her own at tug-a-war and posed with a skeleton.  We even went back into the maze.  All in all it was a great day!

You hear people say don’t blink they grow up so fast and now I know exactly what they mean. When she was little I couldn’t wait for her to do and try new things, now I just want her to slow down and time to stop. I’ll leave you with this song till next time…

2 thoughts on “Letting Go Is So Hard

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