What about my boobs?

Lately, in my social, bloggy circle there’s been a whole lot of talk about boobs! For instance, over at Boondock Ramblings she wrote Boob Magic and I’m about to talk about my boobs again, My sister over at If I Could Escape wrote Boobs and more.. , Sammanthia wrote a funny post called The early boob special, and then there was the notorious boob shot over at Notes from the sleep deprived, who knew they served melons with cake..lol  So… I’ve decided my boobs need to be discussed too or at least I’d tell a few funny stories about them. ~grin~

Growing up my sister hated the fact that I had bigger boobs at 12 than she had at 16, something to which I was oblivious till we were much older.   However, since having three kids my sister boobs have closed the gap and mine have changed, from something I could’ve easily put in playboy, to two small planets that are headed for a collision with earth.  Seriously, if I wanted to go all “girls gone wild” on you I’d have to lift my pant legs, you could almost consider them nuts at this point.  Sigh! 

 

My sister and I have a yearly swimsuit ritual, go to the mall, pick out swimsuits we liked for the summer and pick out suits for each other that are way to small and/or provocative to try on.  My sister, without fail,  would always find some string bikini for me and she’d be doubled over in such fits of laughter as I did, what we called, the “the bounce test”  where you stand in front of the mirror and run in slow motion as if your Pam Anderson in an episode of Baywatch or do Charo’s “Cuchi, cuchi” shimmy..lol 

You have to remember my sister’s also the one who thought it would be funny to try the pencil test,  you know the one in which you put a pencil under your breast, if it falls your boobs are in great shape and if it gets stuck you should see your plastic surgeon for a wee lifty.  Ummm… this test became the drinking glass test for me, it’s amazing what huge boobs can hold under them!  Put away your scalpel Dr. Rey, plastic surgeon to the stars, there’ll be no slicing and dicing here. OUCH!  The person who came up with that test must of been a man or a perky 32B.

While I’m on the subject of big boobs, why is it that department stores only carry cute, lacey bras for small breasted women.  I used to be a size 38DD which wasn’t too bad, but now when I tell the sales clerk I’m a  42G she always looks at me in disbelief like “Ohhhh you want that section!”  I’m then ushered to a dark corner of then lingerie department where there isn’t a bra on the wall that has less than six snaps and they all look like something you’d pull out of your great, great grandma’s drawer, not to mention everyone tends to look at you like your a circus freak.  I’ll admit there’s the occassional brand that tries to make a cute bra, but they never have enough suport in the strap and you end up looking like something off a Jerry Springer show.  So lingerie companies stop your construction! 

Next time your designing bras for bigger boobs please give me a call or send me an email I’d be happy to help you design a bra that’s sturdy yet still sexy.

9 thoughts on “What about my boobs?

  1. I’ve got a similar problem in the opposite direction. Too bad we can’t share a little. I’m convinced men are in charge of all bra designs.

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  2. I agree, Kirst! For a long time I *refused* to move out of a C cup because all the D’s are so ugly! When I decided it was time for some new bras after I had Tripp I bought a few C cups, but I went with the bigger size around. I came home and put one on and had boob sticking out everywhere! I mean, this was way beyond muffin tops. So I went back and got some D cups. And they’re ugly! And now I just have muffin tops, because even a D is too small now.

    But the good thing to come out of it is CLEAVAGE! I never had cleavage before, even with them being so big. But Good God do I have cleavage now!

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  3. I’m jealous, too. I remember being so thrilled while pregnant with Quincy because I had C’s. It was exciting. My band size even went up to a 36 I think.
    *sigh* Now I’m back to my usual size.:(

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  4. You ladies are funny thanks for the comments and taking the time out to read my rants..lol

    Deb – I know men must design them women would design for comfort first I think.

    Wenders – Had the muffin top before, actually had my own bakery going on..lol

    Sam – No worries I have a few friends on the same committee..lol

    Susan – Ohhh I’d love to be a C-D cup I’d be sooo happy.

    DM – Yeah that bra is the small version of what I wear..lol

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  5. Glad to see you jumped on the boob wagon.

    We have them there …we might as well talk about them…men do, right?

    Love the photo at the bottom….hilarious!

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